You are about to find out or already heard the diagnosis, how are you doing?
Diagnosis Support Panel
What just happened or what will happen?
There is so much anxiety, worry, anticipation, doubt, denial, and many other feelings you never thought you would have.
How did this happen?
What will/did the tests reveal?
Will my star be okay? Will they have a "normal" life?
What does this all mean?
Please know that every parent with a child on the spectrum has been in your shoes. Everyone has a ton of questions and everyone is seeking something to make this ok.
What we have learned and have to remind ourselves every day is that it's not about us. It's about our little star. Whether we can accept this or not our star will still have Autism, Developmental Delays, SPD, & PICA, or a gammat of many other co-morbid ailments. That is out of our control. We can only from this point control how we approach this "new" and how we move forward.
The answer is LOVE. It always has been and always will be.
The fact that you love your child so much and are worried, have anxiety about their future means you love them, so in turn, they will have a wonderful life, how could they not.
"So congratulations! You got that part for the story written, a happy ending.
Now, let's write those pages in between that will help us get there
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The
Star
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Love
It's ok to cry or want to sit in a room alone to process the test results and the information. One of the best pieces of advice from my family to you is "Stay Present." Better said than followed, but try not to think of the future or even the past and avoid questioning yourself with "what if's"
There is no prize for best parenting, the gift we get in return is watching our children "stars" grow up and be the best they can be. Your star is going to show you in all sorts of ways how amazing they are. Try to stay away from the "why's" and "it's not supposed to be this way", and take a deeper look into what your star is trying to share with you. There is a quote that we love that says,
"A child with Autism is not ignoring you, they are simply waiting for you to enter their world" written by Autism Treatment Center of America. Enter your stars' world with wonder and amazement, and I promise you it will be better than any other journey you have taken. I really believe the day I was able to enter his world changed our trajectory for the better. It was like we had become more aligned and I was able to understand his needs and frustrations before he might have.
Will every day be roses and rainbows, no, not even close. Will there be days that you are totally overwhelmed, yes. But, when you go to sleep at night wipe the slate clean, rest your body and your mind. Get up the next morning take a big breath of fresh air into your lungs and start the next day as if it is going to be the best day of your stars' life.
If you find yourself still asking "what if's" Ask yourself what if they have the most amazing life ever?" I think if you dwell on that answer instead of the million things that could go wrong, it will get you closer to that happy ending.
Learn
If you are like me, get some R&R and by that I mean..read and research, everything. Find books, magazine articles, introduce yourself to every part of our site, and sign up for the blog.
We promise to give the most up-to-date information that we think will help you. One of the most important things to know is that you are always in control. Our advice is to never think others know what is best for your star. You will meet a lot of educated and un-educated people along the way. Listen to what they have to say and make your own decisions.
The next steps are yours.
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If you are unsure get a second opinion. Just because one person said something doesn't make it set in stone.
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Start educating yourself on how to make up your therapy team. If your child is under 3 you might qualify for your state's Early Intervention Program. Start making some phone calls, learn who is in charge of your program and what services are available. Find out and educate yourself on what therapies are available for you and your star. There are parent trainers available for you too!
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Call your insurance company also and see what services are available in case you need to travel that path.
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Remember if you are using Google, for every good path of information there will be a negative and scary path also. Use the information on Google wisely and if you are getting overwhelmed, scared, or sad, stop and go directly to our inspirational page and reboot yourself.
Laugh and Have Fun
We hope by now you are feeling a little bit better. The most important thing is to remember, your star is still your little star and they always will be. They are the same star that made you laugh and smile and filled your heart up with love the day they were born. If they are young they probably don't even know they were diagnosed and if they are a little older we would think they might not truly understand what a diagnosis means. Go have fun with them, let the wheel spin on the car a million times, play the same song or movie over and over and over again, and enjoy watching them stim to communicate they are having a blast. Do what it takes to help them thrive and be themselves. Remove frustrations and find different ways to achieve goals. Focus on the positives, develop from the negatives and keep on reaching for the stars.
A teacher once told my daughter to reach for the highest point of the universe, the worse thing that happens is you'll end up in the stars,
and that is not a bad place to be... especially if you land on
The Learning Star. 💜
