The “mom” never preferred taking my star to the grocery store…or any other store. My star would scream and holler and literally do anything to escape the cart and try to climb her as if she were a tree and the higher he got the safer he would be. I used to hear stories like this and others as our team of therapists strategized during sessions to figure out how to make this easier. What wound up happening was that “mom” got to go by herself..which wasn’t always a bad thing.
Well one day the “mom” had no choice but to take her little star to the grocery store. They were out of apples and that is my star’s favorite afternoon snack. Not only are they nutritious but he gets to eat them cored and whole to help with his oral sensory needs. He also can not brush his teeth yet so chewing on the skin can help with cleaning his teeth. Anyway…I am getting off topic, pardon me on my rants sometimes, I don't get out much to talk, I sit on the couch all day.
Anyway back to the story, "Picture it"… they are at the grocery store pulling into the parking spot and mom is trying to figure out how to make this a happy experience. First things first let's successfully get him into the shopping cart. Well she was lucky that day as he sat in the cart almost immediately, but also screaming to the top of his lungs out of fear of not knowing his surroundings. Everyone in a 5 mile radius could hear them. I know this because I could hear my star and I was still sitting in my spot on the couch.
Next, she had to push the cart…that made him even more nervous as the cart made loud rattling noises and it wasn't the most smooth ride. After that, was the automatic doors that made new loud sounds as they opened and closed. My poor star was terrified as to waht was going to happen next.
They finally got into the entrance of store where the lights were so bright they almost pierced his eyes and there were flowers everywhere like in a giant garden, not to mention the 50 or so different grocery store smells. Talk about a sensory overload and they were only a foot or so into the store. My star started to panic, stim and scream not knowing what to do. “Mom” secretly started to panic too justing thinking how terrible this experience was going so far for him. Then she had a brilliant idea. "Let's go find the apples" she said.
She quickly drove the cart into the produce section and started saying a is for apple…apple…apple…apple.. They she started quietly singing “Yummy Apples, Yummy Apple, here they are, here they are. Yummy yummy apples, yummy yummy apples, here they are, here they are. ( melody to Frere Jacques). Then handed one giant big red apple to her star. He settled as he took it from her hands focussing all his energy on the apple and he held onto it. Then they walked slowly around looking at all the apples. The yellow apples, the green apples, and his favorite the big red apples. They even put some apple in a bag to take home and eat. My little star who is considered non verbal/lingual held the apple to his lips, humming an “mmmmm”. He was so good. He never ate it. Just held on to it…tightly. They went on their way and did their shopping for a few other necessities and my star stayed calm, and in his seat.
“Mom” uses this technique at all grocery stores now..and even at Target. When they visit these stores they visit the apples first. The therapists call this “desensitizing,” I like to think of it as refocusing. My little star is so afraid of all new things. Imagine how intense a grocery store can be. Most stars do not understand what a grocery store is. (Unless you are using PECS or they are advanced). Sometimes our stars don’t even know or understand you are bringing them to a store, and then all of a sudden they are swooped out of their "norm" and pushed into a store having all their senses bombarded all at once. It can be terrifying.
“Mom” figured out that if he could focus on the apples (something he loves, know and trusts) then maybe the rest wouldn’t be so bad and maybe just maybe tasty too!!
Hope this story help you.
Brownie Points
When entering new places find something in that space that might be familiar.
Make sure you have time. Don’t try to rush through just to get finished. This will not help future trips. Take as long as your star needs to feel safe and in control.
Spend time explaining, reassuring, and refocusing your star on better or easier outcomes.
Download our free "Going to a Store Planning Tool" and read more about how we do things in our Frequently Asked Questions. We share anything that will help you and your star shine!!
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